Farshy At-Turab

AS age catches up with us, death approaches. The question is, are we ready for it? I read a blog post recently (Can't remember where but it was about death). It was as good as a reminder for me.

You never know when Mawt befalls upon you. Angel Israil doesn't gives warnings.
Verily the Prophet saw said "If only my ummah knows the pain of sakkaratul mawt, they will cry in every prayer and repent" (Muslim)

Honestly, none of us will ever be ready for death. Every Muslim wants to die with the Qur'an on his tongue, in his Prayer and tears of joys in his eyes to know he's returning to his Creator.
But how do we guarantee that all our Ibadah (Salaahs, Fasts, Zakahs & Hajj) will be accepted? How do we assure ourselves that our Sins will be forgiven?
How do can we be so sure that we'll be in Jannatul Firdaus and not Jahannam?
How can we be sure that our souls wil be able to answer Mungkar and Nankir?

I've been thinking about death alot. I keep having this feeling that I'm dying. Seriously, No joke. To make it worse, I keep dreaming that my grandmother's passing away. WAllah, I'm tormented with death almost every other day. It's a good thing yet bad. The good thing is, I'm constantly repenting and the bad is; I'm not prepared to die just yet and I don't think I'll ever be prepared and I'm not mentally prepared to lose my grandmother should anything happens.

Talking of which; she's the reason why I've been IMA-ing.
She's lost 85% of her sight so we brought her to an eye specialist this morning. It's due to Cataract.
She'll be undergoing her surgery on the 12th of March. I'm afraid for her as much as she's afraid for herself. The thing is, she's got diabetes and as we know diabetes affects the retina of your eye. Should the diabetes' effect be minimal and the vessels in her retina aren't bleeding she'll gain 90& of her sight; otherwise she'll only be able to gain 30%-40% of her sight. Either way, it's more than what she can se now.

May Allah give her shifa, sabr and strength insy'Allah. Ameen.

In the meantime, I'll be kept busy with my Polytechnic Enrolment; there's too much to do. I've to apply for this and that; Run to Medical Clinics to let them suck my blood out and X-ray my body. I HATE NEEDLES AND THEY ARE GOING TO INSERT THAT THING IN ME. Stupid. Plain Stupid.
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I wish to accompany my grandmother and spend more time with her.

So, I MIGHT not blog often or maybe blog more than what I should be blogging. Depends on what I have to say. Whatever it is, if I don't blog for more than 1 week than ask Fatin what happened to me or just assume I've returned to Allah swt.

Allahu Aa'lam Wa Ahkam.

P.S Slumdog was super duper uper freaking good. soooo....
JAIIII HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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Fatin, Get well soon. I'm sorry if I made you angry. Return me my text when you think you should :'( Till then I'll be in solidarity.
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I love my mum when she's trying to make up to me; She buys me Indian Food every dinner. I'm lovin' it. If I start talking to her, I'll lose my Indian food and if I'm don't Jahannam's calling me. LOL...
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Erm... Jaan i'll email you often; Check Your Email. Good Luck For your exams, study well and rest well. Cut down on that fast food.
Allah Hafiz.

A'qilah Saiere