; marriage talks

I am a person who thinks highly of marriage. I look upon it as a sacred union between two people that bring about a new set of responsibilities for this life and the next. I have a handful of friends who see little value in marriage. Mostly because they have witnessed too many marriages that have failed to see a purpose in wanting to spend their whole life with a person. With that, they tell others that they would rather be in love with something they can control - something like their career.

What I fail to understand from these people is not why they don't believe in marriages but why they feel that a career could replace a marriage. We can't control anything but our actions. If success is what they deem in a dream job then they should respect that others may deem it in falling in love and having a family.

But that is not all to a marriage. It's not just about finding a person you wish to spend with for the rest of your life. It's about understanding your responsibilities towards this person, sharing your every happiness and grief. When you marry someone, you should understand that you are each other's ticket to Jannah. When a friend asked me "What makes you think he's not going to disappoint you? What makes you think the marriage is going to last? How long will it last? How do we control these things?"

Rasulullah (sallahu 'alayhi wasalam) has said that marriage is a part of his sunnah and those who are not in favour of his sunnah is not part of his ummah. It also a mutual understanding that marriage is half of a person's deen. When you marry someone, you become a garment to one another. You are responsible for each other's dignity. You are responsible for each other's happiness and well-being - in sickness and in health. If you marry someone who doesn't love the One who created you, how do you expect him to love you? If you marry someone who doesn't understand that this marriage he's in, is not just an agreement with you but an agreement with God, how do you expect him to commit? If you marry someone who is not aware that divorce is the most hated "halal" thing in the eyes of Allah swt and who has no fear that perhaps his actions may disappoint Allah swt, then what good is there in marrying him?

Also, Khadijah r.a was one of the most successful businesswoman in Makkah in the time of the Prophet and she was a wife and mother to her beautiful daughters with Rasulullah (sallahu 'alayhi wasalam).

When you do something for Allah swt, how could it possibly go wrong? One should marry not out of lust but out of love in wanting to complete half of his deen.

A'qilah Saiere.